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To most people, training a dog begins and ends with commands and equipment. They never think that developing a relationship with their dog through training is possible, let alone critical.

But by forming a relationship with your dog through an activity like training 鈥� rather than only from cuddling on the couch or slipping him tidbits of food from the dinner table 鈥� you鈥檒l create a strong bond that may even come in handy if your dog is in harm鈥檚 way. Ask any champion obedience handler, and she鈥檒l likely tell you when it comes to training success, communication is key.

Let鈥檚 look at the various life stages and activities when great relationships can be formed. In each one, I鈥檝e chosen a specific relationship-oriented goal to work on.

Puppy Stage
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Relationship Goal: Follow the Leader

Most pet owners fall hook, line, and sinker for a puppy鈥檚 charm, so instead of becoming his partner in training, they become more of his agent, defending their young canine鈥檚 behavior by making statements like, 鈥淗e isn鈥檛 biting, he鈥檚 just teething.鈥� Or, 鈥淗e鈥檚 jumping because he鈥檚 overtired; normally he wouldn鈥檛 do that.鈥� My personal favorite is, 鈥淚 won鈥檛 let him do (insert inappropriate behavior) forever, but I want him to have a little fun while he鈥檚 a puppy!鈥�

Let me assure you that allowing such behavior will lead you to difficulty changing that behavior in the future and will also cause you to miss out on a stage of development in a dog鈥檚 life when he still thinks you鈥檙e a cool, fun leader. Adolescence is just around the corner, and that鈥檚 when puppies turn into defiant teenagers. Take advantage of a puppy鈥檚 natural desire to follow and learn, and teach him fun games rooted in impulse control.

The relationship goal that you鈥檙e aiming for at this age is teaching your puppy that everything he wants has to come through you, which makes you as valuable as the reward.

Adolescence
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Relationship Goal: Consistency

Oh, the teenage stage! Welcome to adolescence, when there will be lots of 鈥淲hy?鈥� and 鈥淒on鈥檛 wanna鈥� responses from your dog. Much like a human teen, dogs in this stage like to test the limits and see what they can get away with. Remaining firm on house rules and sticking to the routine will help your dog realize that defiance does him no good.

Also, there will be a day in the not-so-distant future when it just would be so much easier to relax your dog鈥檚 rules, like staying off the couch or not jumping on people, especially if he鈥檚 on a rebellious streak. But the price you pay for that momentary laissez-faire lifestyle is that your dog will then think the rules are optional. Be consistent with your teenage dog. He鈥檒l learn that you鈥檙e unchanging in your expectations, and he鈥檒l become consistent in his responses.

Adult Stage
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Relationship Goal: Expanding and Strengthening Your Bond

Once your dog is an adult, the training and the games that go with it don鈥檛 stop. As a matter of fact, this is the age when the more you teach your dog, the stronger your relationship becomes.

In addition to practicing basic commands, you can take your dog鈥檚 training to the next level by teaching more advanced tricks or even taking up a sport like obedience, agility, tracking, herding, flyball, dock diving, or any of the other dog sports available.

Through training-based activities, not only will your relationship grow, but your dog will also get the physical and mental exercise that will help him be happy, healthy, and strong. And if all that sounds like it鈥檚 only beneficial to your dog, think again. Some of the many lessons I鈥檝e learned through teaching dog training for many decades include those of friendship, love, loyalty, gratitude, patience, and humility 鈥� all are built through a strong relationship. My greatest hope is for you and your canine companion to experience the same through your special bond.