Losing a pet can bring on intense feelings of emptiness and despair. Because pets can鈥檛 speak for themselves, owners might feel guilty, believing they could have done more to prevent the loss or ease their pet鈥檚 suffering while they were alive.
For advice, we spoke to Jackie Pajan, a TikTok creator known as , to her over 73,000 followers. Pajan, who lost her dog Riley in 2020, creates pet loss content and personalized videos to help grieving pet owners find hope, happiness, and healing.
Pajan鈥檚 videos draw inspiration from the , a heavenly place where grieving pet owners can reunite with their pets in the afterlife. The Rainbow Bridge originated from a poem that refers to lush meadows where ailing pets can once again be strong, healthy, and content.
鈥淭he Rainbow Bridge is a good way for our human brains to comprehend what happens after pets leave,鈥� says Pajan. 鈥淚 hope the videos bring a little peace and comfort in a dark time.鈥�
While pet loss is universal, grief is deeply personal and individual, affecting people in different ways over time. Here are some tips and resources that can help you cope.
Why ur 鈾ワ笍 hurts so much.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Take care of yourself and avoid setting limits on how much . 鈥淵ou will feel the loss for many days to come and you might feel it forever but it doesn鈥檛 always feel as heavy as it does in the beginning,鈥� explains Pajan.
鈥淭hat first year is one of those times you have to say to yourself, this isn鈥檛 going to feel like a normal year,鈥� says Pajan. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to experience your first holidays and birthdays without this animal. There is no moving on. It鈥檚 just moving forward, moving through, or moving with you. It becomes a part of you.鈥�
Connect with Yourself and Nature
Pajan recommends mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation, and going for walks to help you tune into your body. The goal of mindfulness is to notice your feelings without judging or pushing them away.
鈥淭here鈥檚 so many people who feel they would be better off if they just left with their pet,鈥� says Pajan. 鈥淚 wanted to pass along that we鈥檙e still supposed to live these beautiful lives with them. They鈥檙e just not physically here.鈥�
Develop Soothing Thoughts
鈥淥ne aspect of pet loss that鈥檚 different from most human deaths is that we feel responsible,鈥� says Pajan. 鈥淲e may be the ones who make the call for our pet to leave earth. And that is such a heavy responsibility.鈥� People often tell Pajan, 鈥淚 feel so guilty that I killed my pet.鈥�
Although it鈥檚 normal to experience guilt, the associated thought (鈥淚 killed my pet鈥�) isn鈥檛 conducive to healing. Instead, Pajan suggests thinking about your pet鈥檚 physical body and how it鈥檚 no longer serving them. Consider that helping them cross is an 鈥渁ct of selfless love for an animal who has loved you more than themselves.鈥�
鈥淚 hope people get closure when they see their pet being welcomed into the Rainbow Bridge, to understand that this isn鈥檛 the end,鈥� says Pajan. 鈥淛ust because they鈥檝e left their physical body doesn鈥檛 mean they鈥檝e left your side.鈥�
Reach Out to Others
Not everyone understands the pain of losing a pet, even people with pets. Friends or family members might tell you to 鈥済et over it鈥� or promise you鈥檒l feel better when you get another pet. Psychologists use the term to describe what people experience when others shut down conversations about loss or try to minimize their grief.
鈥淭his type of grief feels a little ,鈥� says Pajan. 鈥淵ou can鈥檛 just say to your boss, 鈥榟ey, my dog died so I鈥檓 going to need a week off.鈥� It鈥檚 not something we talk about, so it鈥檚 important to normalize grief from pet loss.鈥�
The isolating nature of grief is part of the reason Pajan started creating videos. 鈥淚t created this community of people who understood what I was going through and were sharing their stories too,鈥� recalls Pajan. 鈥淚 wanted people to understand it gets better because, for many of us, pets are our best friends and the only soul that gets us fully.鈥�
鈥淭he thing I love most about the Rainbow Bridge Raina community is that people comment on each other鈥檚 posts with beautiful, heartfelt words of comfort and kindness. Wherever you find it, community is vital to getting through this.鈥�
Do u feel this way, ever?
A good place to start is following Instagram accounts dedicated to pet loss and grief support:
In addition, private Facebook groups offer a safe space to share condolences, memories, and coping strategies:
Honor Your Pet鈥檚 Memory
Keeping photos and mementos around is a visible reminder that your pet is still very much a part of your life. 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to be sad but it鈥檚 okay to feel good again,鈥� says Pajan. She suggests doing some of your pet鈥檚 favorite things like going for a walk or spending time at the beach.
Another way to memorialize your pet is by extending kindness to animals through fostering or volunteering at an animal rescue organization. 鈥淔or some people, it might take years or they might never open their heart or home to another pet,鈥� explains Pajan. 鈥淪ome people worry their angel pet is going to feel forgotten.鈥�
Pajan reassures people by saying, 鈥測ou鈥檙e always moving forward with them in your heart so you鈥檙e not doing them a disservice when you get another pet. Plus, angel pets have a way of bringing you the pets that you need and that need you. It鈥檚 okay not to feel the same bond with your new pet. No love will ever be the same.鈥�
This article is intended solely as general guidance, and does not constitute health or other professional advice. Individual situations and applicable laws vary by jurisdiction, and you are encouraged to obtain appropriate advice from qualified professionals in the applicable jurisdictions. We make no representations or warranties concerning any course of action taken by any person following or otherwise using the information offered or provided in this article, including any such information associated with and provided in connection with third-party products, and we will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages that may result, including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death.